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Ladies and gentleman, despite evidence to the contrary, males are indeed affected by issues of body image. I know. I’m a man. Not only that, a quick Google search will result in titles like “Body image and eating disorders in men” and “Body Image Dissatisfaction: A Growing Concern Among Men.” Yet if you don’t go out of your way to find evidence of this, you wouldn’t know it exists.

No surprise there; men just don’t talk. We prefer to suffer in silence, to pretend we’re tough as nails on the outside and cry on the inside. Far be it for a man to show any sign of weakness, lest a stronger male swoop in with a bigger club and take his woman by the hair.

I was tall for my age…at 13. Then I stopped growing and everyone else shot past me. I loved sports in highschool; of course the ones I chose were “tall people” sports — basketball and volleyball. I’d say I was above average skill in each, but my lack of height was definitely a shortcoming. Being vertically challenged (5’6″ — which could have been up to 5’8″ depending how insecure I was feeling at the time) was something I learned to live with, but it took a long time to accept it.

At 36 years old, I still have pangs of insecurity about it. I feel emasculated when I’m around tall women and when I hug a tall man (this is always so awkward). In my youth, to compensate I started working out after I left highschool. Ripped muscles should distract from my shortness, right? After years I realized I hated lifting weights; I would despise every bicep curl and bench press. If no one was there to push me, I would just leave.

Then I disliked my body. My arms, shoulders, and chest were too big, my waist was too skinny. All my shirts hung off me like drapes. My legs were still short. I just wanted to be skinny. I used to own a 4×4 pickup truck, but that had nothing to do with my height. Or did it?

I have always had image issues with my penis. It has affected sexual relations with women my entire life. I never showered with other men in the locker room. Peeing beside someone in a urinal was always nerve-wracking.

But at some point, enough becomes enough. Because living life being embarrassed and ashamed of something that we have absolutely no control of has got to be one of the most pointless and damaging exercises we can do. It’s tiring. I find that with age it gets easier and easier to let go, to stop caring. This is one of the things I look forward to as I get older.

Society’s image of the perfect man is just as skewed as the perfect woman

Just as Barbie dolls can have adverse affects on little girls, the same can be said of action figures for boys. The depictions of superheroes like Spiderman and Superman having bulging muscles can set up unrealistic expectations. Remember Adam West as Batman in his grey unitard? Compare that with Christian Bale’s version in his armored suit that actually has perfectly defined muscles etched into it.

According to a recent study, GI Joe figures, over the past 20 years, “have grown more muscular and currently have sharper muscle definition” and that “if extrapolated to a height of 5’10”, would have larger biceps than any bodybuilder in history.”

Men’s magazines are just as bad as women’s; men are taught what they should look like to be attractive. An image search for “men’s magazines” came up with these cover story titles:

I could go on. Some men — and, let’s face it, boys — take it a step further and turn to muscle enhancing supplements and dangerous substances like steroids. Many of these, because of how they affect natural hormone levels, come with pretty undesirable side-effects like depression, rage, violence, man-boobs, and shrunken testicles.

Take it even a step further and men are going under the knife to sculpt their bodies, just like women. According to The Men’s Clinic, the most popular surgeries are:

Calves too tiny? Get implants. Toss in some chin and cheek sculpting, too. If men didn’t have body image issues, these cosmetic surgeries wouldn’t exist.

I would like to see more discussion about men and body image. We are not immune to society’s pressures of conforming to a standard of physical “beauty.” Let’s talk, bring it out in the open, and hopefully, when everyone realizes that everyone else is thinking the same thing, we can all relax into who we are and what we have. Really, it’s not worth the energy